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Published On: Mon, Apr 13th, 2020

Day 2 of my #21DayJournal

#21DayJournal is a series of sometimes unedited tweets, blog posts, podcasts, Facebook / IG lives and Linked In posts written between April 11th and May 1st during the COVID-19 quarantine.

Yesterday was just Day 1… for me of stillness in a space that is restrictive. I may lean on some of you that have figured somethings out. I am grateful for having a roof over my head and for all of you always sending me positive vibes.

Today is Day 2, April 12th, 2020

In 2014, after 10 years of tenure, I walked away from my job at T-Mobile forever to dedicate all my efforts to Sofrito Media Group. I made some modifications to my home in Freeport, Long Island including talking over the dining room and living room and making it a make shift headquarters until I would make my move back to Brooklyn.

I was going to do a combination of work from home and prospect, then carefully select events to attend to maximize exposure for my brand. My daily routine was to get up at 4 am, eat breakfast, do a few stretches… and write an email, prepare strategies and curate content for my feed. After I got past the doing skype calls in my boxers phase, I was able to be super productive. I used to joke around and say every day is a Monday because as a self-employed entrepreneur, I knew that the whole work and play balance thing was bullshit. I also knew that I loved what I was doing so much I didn’t care.

Fast forward 6 years, this is not that.

It is only Day 2, and I already know this.

My apartment is gone…

both my cars are gone…

my belongings are in storage…

and my most prized art is in the hands of my closest friends.

I have shifted and released most of my belongings to live this new life.

When everyone started the quarantine, I found myself amongst the dique elite essential workers of the aviation industry. I was still flying from city to city, I walked down the ghost towns of Miami Beach, Fort Lauderdale and Hollywood Blvd. I zipped thru security and customs of some of the busiest airports in the country, I rode from Long Beach Airort to LAX in 18 minutes with the absence of traffic and the clearest skies I ever seen in Los Angeles.

Finally, sequestered in some of the nicest hotels, with no access to the gym, pool or saunas, paying a premium to get food delivered when my lunch box stash was depleted and finally getting dozens of messages from friends and family urging me to stay put, be safe and stop flying.

Suddenly, my dream job is not as dreamy. Operating flights with less than a dozen passengers, limited service, 6 feet of distance (barely) and still having to be the one that is tasked with shifting the energy became exhausting.

Laying over in Orlando and not being able to see my mom, who has conditions that make keeping her safe my top priority. Staying away from other people I love to keep them safe was also very heavy. I am ok with being alone, but I guess not when I am being told to.

Where would I go? I gave up my apartment, I can’t stay with my cousin because my Titi Belen is in her late 90’s. My current living situation is a crash pad, a special dorm of sorts for people who commute to work in the airline industry. Its a shared apartment that I am only really supposed to be in the days I am working out of NYC.

So as of yesterday, I am here… alone because everyone I live with here has gone home, most of them have had their flights cancelled and won’t be back for weeks. They are with family… and I am here alone on Easter.

Can I be honest and tell you that I never cared much for Easter? Except for the candy and buying new clothes to look fly as a kid, I really never cared much for it. I struggled with the different definitions of it over the years. I have had all people of all walks of life and religious beliefs explain it to me, I heard them all… but still.

What I miss right now is my cousins getting together at my cousin Booby’s farm in Central Florida to host a Easter egg hunt for the kids. Just like Thanksgiving, a holiday that doesn’t mean much to me outside of just being a time that I can choose to be with family. I would do anything to do that today.

Instead,

I am pacing back and forth.

eating more than I should.

cleaning the house repeatedly

binge watching Netflix, Hulu & Prime

expressing condolences to 7 of my friends

but,

I am safe, grateful even though today was a rough day.

I feel guilty because I once had the discipline to make a day like today productive, but today… I can’t seem to get it together.

Humble pie is on the menu.

Maybe I just need to stay still.

Happy Easter, whatever it means to you.

Abrazos desde lejos.

👨🏼‍🌾

Compai George

Follow me on Instagram & Twitter for a real-time look at my #21dayjournal as the days go by. DM me if you want to connect.

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If you’re feeling suicidal or thinking of hurting yourself, seek help. Contact your primary care provider or a mental health professional. Or call a suicide hotline. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or use its webchat at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat.

Email me your thoughts, quotes, stories about how this is impacting you. I would love to share in the interest of letting people in the world know they are not alone.

Read my Day 1 post: http://www.sofritoforyoursoul.com/day-1-of-my-21dayjournal/#ixzz6JV2kkTEv

Day 2 of my #21DayJournal