Booking.com
Published On: Sun, Apr 12th, 2020

Day 1 of my #21DayJournal

I just wanted to share my process of reflection, in the same way I shared #MyThreeWords at the beginning of the year.

Dia de Los Muertos, 2019 – Photo: Mayra Beltran.

#21DayJournal is a series of sometimes unedited tweets, blog posts, podcasts, Facebook / IG lives and Linked In posts written between April 11th and May 1st during the COVID-19 quarantine.

During this time, I am bunkered at my NYC Crashpad in Kew Gardens and my intention is to not return to work as a flight attendant until after my birthday (May 1st). In the meantime, I write.

Today is Day 1, April 11th, 2020

I woke up, just 24 hours after I decided not to fly the rest of April. It was a knee jerk reaction in ways. On April 10th, I flew a trip to West Palm Beach in which we flew our e190 (smaller jet) and had a family of 9, traveling to attend a funeral of someone who contracted the Coronavirus. During this flight, my coworker (we will just call her Dee) and I got word that we had lost another coworker to COVID-19, our third in a week. We both cried in our respective galleys for most of the flight and it was painful not being able to comfort each other.

I started thinking to just a few minutes before I heard about Jared Lovos passing, I did the safety demo and there is a part where we talk about the safety procedures.

“In the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, three oxygen masks will drop from the overhead…”

The piece that echoed in my head today was “put on your own mask first before assisting others”. A message about self-care hidden in plain sight. it stayed with me all day and I realized that I haven’t really been scared this whole time, I am just exhausted emotionally.

I still choose to be positive to deliver on the human values of my airline to that family of 9… and the truth is, I was devastated inside.

not just because of Jared, but because my friend Nancy lost her grandmother and cannot pay her respects in the way that we know how. because my friend Luz just lost her newfound love and still had to find the strength to fight the virus. Because I have the freedom of traveling all over the world and I cannot be with my loved ones because I have been so exposed the last 6 weeks that I can literally kill the people I love the most. Because over 70 people I know have lost someone, because I have lost 5 people I loved and because over 40 people I know are fighting for their life.

Because for the first time in my life, I have disabled notifications on my phone and have tuned out the media, stopped reading my FB feed and have anxiety every time my phone rings, fearing that each call is just another blow to the lives we are living. We cannot escape it… the whole world is going through this together.

Because I am normally known for being Mr. Positive but I have moments when I join the rest of humanity and do not see how we can possibly return to any kind of normalcy. This moment right now is my Kryptonite.

Instead of joining the chorus of people telling you what you should do, I have decided to show you what I am doing. It is this, its showing you how I create, how I connect and hopefully create impact with the things, people and movements that inspire me. This stuff that all of you are doing right now.

Recently, my friend Jessica (Fifa) got her dream job at Woodhull Hospital. She is the director of Community Outreach… (which is what she does for us at Capicu as well). There is no better place for her to be, as she is truly a pillar of the Bushwick community. A few days back, she teamed up with Jason from EvilOlove Pizza Bar (where we have hosted our open mic for the last 12 years) and created a front line appreciation project where the community provides hot meals for the hundreds of healthcare workers and support staff risking their lives to save lives during this time. Papo and I have been leveraging our community of poets and community builders to raise money to support this effort that not only feeds these heroes but supports local businesses that have historically supported us and helps keeps their doors open.

If you have it in your heart… click here and donate what you can.

Watch Day 1 on my IGTV channel

I know that there are people on social shouting at you, trying to inspire you, shaming you and overwhelming you with misinformation. I urge you to tap into your survival instincts and do what feels right to you to get thru this moment, and really fuck whoever doesn’t support that.

Speaking of support, Here is a message I received just as I was writing this from one of my supportive readers Nori who is currently battling COVID-19

“This virus is about finding the strength within us to fight whatever life throws at us, virus or not. And we’re not alone in any battle, as God provides warriors and soldiers around, and our weapon is LOVE. Love for everything and everyone. And your beautiful art is Love. That’s why I reached out to you tonight. We’re in this together, a beautiful motto for this era we’re in. And there is no fear in perfect Love. Love casts out all fear. And the virus is about exploiting fear and weaknesses in its host, or terrorizing a country. And we have to fight it one hour at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time.

Love Will Win❤️✊🏽”

Happy Easter and Love you meng. Amen Jesus.✍🏽
@Nori_Vass 🙏🏽🌍

Get Well Sis!!!

💓

🙇🏻‍♀️

Here are some self-care strategies

You can expect your current strong feelings to fade when the pandemic is over, but stress won’t disappear from your life when the health crisis of COVID-19 ends. Continue these self-care practices to take care of your mental health and increase your ability to cope with life’s ongoing challenges.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/…/mental-health-cov…/art-20482731

——/////—-

If you’re feeling suicidal or thinking of hurting yourself, seek help. Contact your primary care provider or a mental health professional. Or call a suicide hotline. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or use its webchat at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat.

Today is just Day 1… for me of stillness in a space that is restrictive. I may lean on some of you that have figured somethings out. I am grateful for having a roof over my head and for all of you always sending me positive vibes.

Here is a thought I shared a few days ago…

The best thing about today,

Is that we get a chance to change that thing that didn’t work yesterday.

If at the end of today… it still doesn’t work, tomorrow may be the day to get it right.

❤️ yourself before you ❤️ others.

Pivot as you please.

Abrazos desde lejos.

Compai George
👨🏼‍🌾🌱

Follow me on Instagram & Twitter for a real-time look at my #21dayjournal as the days go by. DM me if you want to connect.

Email me your thoughts, quotes, stories about how this is impacting you. I would love to share in the interest of letting people in the world know they are not alone.

Day 1 of my #21DayJournal