Published On: Mon, Aug 30th, 2010

Ask Senora Lopez: Do Latinas Date…Differently? Let Us Know…

AskSra Ask Señora Lopez is a new column written by Señora Lopez, the author of “Latina-ish” The blog. You can also follow her on twitter @latinaish

Q: One thing that’s always fascinated me about Latinas is their dating styles. They seem to always know how to get and keep a man. They won’t put up with not being treated right and men adore them.. What’s their secret?

– The Lebanese Lorena

A: When I posed this question to a group of Latina friends, I got exactly the response I was expecting; that is to say, the responses were as diverse as the group of Latinas themselves!

Some answered with humor and some shared touching personal stories. Still others took a more analytical look at the question and discussed the influence of cultural gender roles on marriage. Their answers ranged from advocating “compassionate communication” to a “zero tolerance policy on bull****.”

The truth is, Latinas face the same relationship struggles as all women do and a lower divorce rate amongst Latino couples does not necessarily equal happier marriages. In some cases, Latino marriages may last longer for cultural and religious reasons, as divorce is less acceptable than it is in other cultures. Latino culture puts family above all else, and Anglo American culture often puts an individual’s pursuit of happiness first. The result is that Latinos are more likely to stay in a marriage, despite infidelities or other problems, while Anglos feel free to cut their loses and move on.

Neither way is better or worse than the other. Both have advantages and disadvantages, but when you say “keep a man”, you must ask yourself what your definition of “keeping” is. Staying married is one thing, but a fulfilling relationship requires so much more than simply remaining under the same roof.

The bottom line is, I don’t believe there is a secret to keeping a man, or more accurately, staying in a loving relationship. There is just common sense – Treat him the way you would like to be treated. If he does the same for you, you’re more likely to have a happy marriage. In the end, of course, it’s easier said than done, but I wish you luck, (and love!)

– Señora López

Have your say! As a Latina do you believe you have some tips and tricks that help you keep a man, or is it more complicated than that? As a Latino, what makes you so crazy about a woman that you’d do anything to stay with her? Leave a comment below!

Ask Senora Lopez: Do Latinas Date…Differently? Let Us Know…